How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?   Open the door and put him in.

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?   Open the door, take the elephant out and put the giraffe in.

The Lion King is having a big animal meeting, every animal is to be there. Which animal does not show?

The giraffe, it is in the refrigerator.

You need to cross a crocodile invested river. How do you cross?   The crocks are at the meeting, swim.

Using a standard alarm clock, if you went to be at 8 a.m. and set the alarm to get up at 9:00 the next morning

how much sleep would you get?   1 hour, standard alarm clocks can not distinguish days.

What was the name of the President in 1959?   George Wallace Bush

Does England have a Fourth of July?   Yes, it follows the 3rd of July.

Why can't a man living in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, be buried west of the Mississippi River?

It is illegal to bury people that are still alive.

Some months have 30 days and some months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?   All of them.

If you had a match and entered a room in which there were a kerosene lamp, and oil heater, and a wood-burning

stove, which would you light first?   The match.

A man builds a house with four sides to it. It is rectangular in shape. Each side has a southern exposure. A big

bear wanders by. What color is the bear?   White, the house would have to be on the north pole.

How far can a dog run into the woods?   Half way, he then starts to run out of the woods.

I have in my hand two U.S. coins which total fifty-five cents in value. One is not a nickel. What are the two coins?

A fifty- cent piece and a nickel - the fifty-cent piece is not a nickel.

A farmer had seventeen sheep. All but nine died. How many does he have left?   Nine

Divide 30 by one-half and add 10. What is the answer?   70

Take two apples from three apples and what do you have?   2 Apples

An archaeologist claimed he found gold coins dated 46 B.C. Do you think he did?   Time was not recorded then

therefore there would be no date.

How many animals of each species did Moses take aboard the ark with him?   None, it was Noah that built the

ark.

Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister in North Carolina?   No   Why?   To have a widow the man would

have to be dead.

From what animal do we get whale bones?   Whales

Six passengers get on the bus you are driving at stop one. At the 2nd stop 2 got on and 5 get off. Stop 3 is

uneventful, but the 4th stop nine people, including 3 children get on the bus and 6 depart. What color are the bus

drivers eyes?   Your the bus driver.